Pythons Set to Laboriously Consume Florida by 2020
THIS JUST IN: FLORIDA NOW 35% COVERED IN WRITHING, ANGRY SNAKES
Pet pythons placed in peri-urban waterways have found their way to the Everglades, and are thus slowly winding their way around Mother Nature’s pale, exposed throat, settling in for a joyless, reptilian kill. Many thought it a hoax when five years ago, a difficult to comprehend photograph surfaced on the internet… one in which a fifteen to twenty foot long snake had apparently consumed a sizable alligator, but in the last frantic throes of the insanity of death, the alligator had exploded from the gullet of the snake, leaving behind a pile of gore the likes of which not seen since Vietnam. Mankind is now embroiled in a war with an enemy which society has used as a symbol of evil since the dawn of time, and the battleground is America’s last bastion of child-friendly entertainment.
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